Forget those scientific personality tests! If you really want to glaze deeply into the fathoms of your own psyche, this is the only quiz worth taking.
Answer the questions below and tally up your answers to reveal which internet cat meme you are.
1. You’re off to the cinema, what kind of film do you choose?
A) Horror—I enjoy watching people suffer.
B) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or any film that revolves around tasty treats.
C) No time for cinema, there’s work to be done.
D) Something historical or based on true events.
E) Anything Sci-Fi will do.
2. You find a £10 note on the floor, what do you do?
A) Laugh because someone lost it and they’re probably upset about it.
B) Use it to treat myself to a cheeky snack or two.
C) Invest it wisely.
D) Hand it in to police. Theft is a serious matter.
E) Test it with various chemicals to try and find the original owner.
3. You’re off to a party, what’s your mingling tactic?
A) Stand in the corner and ignore people.
B) Head straight to the food table to see what’s on offer.
C) Start handing out my business card and generating networking contacts.
D) Stick with the sensible crowd and avoid anyone that looks like they’re indulging in silliness.
E) Drop a load of breath mints into the nearest bottle of fizzy pop and use the resulting explosive chemical reaction to start a conversation.
4. What would your dream job be?
A) I want Simon Cowell’s job because I take pleasure in crushing people’s dreams.
B) I’d love to be a chef or a baker.
C) Owning my own business with hundreds of employees to boss around.
D) I dream of being a smartly suited accountant.
E) I wouldn’t say no to being the next Marie Curie.
5. Your favourite song comes on the radio, what is it?
A) No by Meghan Trainor
B) I Want Candy by The Strangeloves
C) 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton
D) So Serious by Electric Light Orchestra
E) Chemistry by Semisonic
6. You’re booking your next holiday, where are you off to?
A) I’m taking time off just to sit alone in a darkened room, away from everyone else.
B) A gastro-tour of Europe.
C) Take time off work? Are you kidding?!
D) I haven’t decided yet, but I’m going to stay away from anything ridiculous. Like Disneyland.
E) I’m off to science camp!
7. Your friends would describe you as…
A) What friends?
B) A foodie.
C) A high-achiever.
D) Someone who knows how to ruin a good joke.
E) Meticulous and precise.
8. Your ideal home would be…
A) Somewhere in deep isolation.
B) Above a restaurant.
C) A sleeping bag under my desk in the office—can’t waste any of those precious working hours!
D) A nice, sensible two up, two down.
E) Dorm rooms at the local university.
9. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?
A) I hate ice cream.
B) All of them.
C) Owning the entire ice cream parlour makes better business sense.
D) Plain vanilla.
E) One with a popping candy topping.
10. You’re out clothes shopping, what’s the first thing you pick up?
A) An offensive t-shirt
B) Wait…we’re clothes shopping? I’ve been down in the food court!
C) A nicely-fitted suit with matching tie
D) Something practical
E) A humorous, geeky shirt
Mostly As: Grumpy Cat
Other people? No. Love and joy? No. Your score has landed you firmly in Grumpy Cat territory, but you probably couldn’t care less. Because no.
Mostly Bs: Heavy Breathing Cat
You are the ultimate foodie—anything food-related and you’re all over it. Or it’s all over you…either way, you’re happy.
Mostly Cs: Business Cat
We’re surprised you had time to take this quiz, being as hard-working as you are. Time is money, you know.
Mostly Ds: Serious Cat
You probably regret taking this quiz because it’s pure silliness. You aren’t a cat meme, you’re a human. This whole thing makes no sense.
Mostly Es: Chemistry Cat
The outcome of this experiment is clear—you are Chemistry Cat. You find chemistry jokes sodium funny, especially when they’re made periodically. Geddit?!
Had enough of cats? Get some retail therapy in instead.