The selfie. A very guilty, very public pleasure traceable to anyone that owns a camera phone. Since its origins in the long-ago land of Myspace, selfies have blossomed into the ugly teenage daughter of the internet; plaguing everyone for attention and popping up in places you don’t expect them to be. Case in point: funerals and changing rooms.
At the risk of looking (*gulp*) uncool, the printed.com team decided to get together, make up a list of selfies that definitely shouldn’t see the light of day, and recreate them so you can see just how truly awful they are and never, ever do them yourself. We’ve thrown ourselves down on the sword of humiliation just for you.
The toilet selfie
Whether you’re having a number one or a number two, we just don’t want to see that. Ever. If you really need to use the bathroom for your selfie (because we know the lighting is, like, totally great in there) try to keep your pants up and the lid down.
Suggested hashtags: #oops #toilet #lolz #pooping
The ‘look what I’m eating’ selfie
This is the next stage of the current food photography trend that is sweeping Instagram. We have seen a few examples of this leaking out onto the net already and it’s enough to put anyone off their lunch. Don’t eat and snap, folks!
Suggested hashtags: #nom #digestion #scrummy
Post work-out selfies
This is the slightly more extreme version of the ‘health selfie’, wherein participants will photograph health food, or show themselves in full-blown action. This is the ugly aftermath, complete with sweat marks, gross make-up and chafing.
Suggested hashtags: #satisfaction #sweatybetty
We’ve looked at pictures of book shelves and photos of shopping, let’s hope that 2014 doesn’t see the rise of queuing selfies; the scourge of the post office.
Suggested hashtags: #toilets #boring #antilolz
The waxing selfie
What would the world be like if everyone who ever removed their own body hair at home wanted to share the results with you? 'Nuff said.
Suggested hashtags: #hairy #wax #achievement
We hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson here today and that we’ve helped you steer clear of some major social gaffes by putting ourselves in undesirable positions. If you have some great selfies which do deserve to see the light of day, turn them into Instagram prints and make a lasting memory out of them!